In recent posts, I've written about how prospective clients are turned off by anything which smacks of a sales pitch or hard sell. Most advisors understand this - and try very hard to portray themselves as trusted professionals, as far as possible away from the "used car salesman" stereotypes of commission driven salespeople.

Just wanting to be seen as a professional isn't enough however. If you want clients to view you like they do their accountants, lawyers and bankers, you have to have the same mindset and use the same kinds of words they do.

That's why I'm astonished by the language that I sometimes see creep into conversations with even the most successful advisors when it comes to attracting new clients.

A case in point: In a recent conversation with a top producing advisor, he talked about "dripping" on prospects. For me, "dripping" has negative connotations of relentless water torture - I can see accountants and lawyers talk about cultivating and nurturing prospective clients, but never "dripping" on them.

The word "prospecting" itself is one I think is unlikely to come up in conversation with other professionals - yes they might talk about client development, but never prospecting. We all have phrases and expressions that rub us the wrong way - one advisor described his visceral negative reaction to any initiative his firm puts out under the title "asset gathering".

Part of the difficulty with these expressions - dripping, prospecting, asset gathering - is that they're all about us and our success, in some cases with the implication that prospective clients are there to be manipulated, with no allowance for the fact that helping clients achieve their financial goal is at the heart of our success.

Some might say that it's not necessary to get fixated on the words we use - after all they're only words. The problem is that the words we use both reflect and can shape our mindset and the mindset of others among us - just as few of us would use derogatory words to describe ethnic and religious communities, so we have to be scrupulous about the words we use to describe how we interact with prospective clients.

As you think about the words you use to describe your new client initiatives, consider employing two simple tests:

First, would other professionals such as lawyers and accountants use them?

And second, would we feel comfortable if our existing and prospective clients heard us use them in conversation?

If the answer to either question is no, then it's time to change your vocabulary.