Over the past few months, we've all read about "the new frugality" that has become part of our culture.As a result, many consumers have been rethinking their spending - with some surprising insights about the importance of personal connections in tough times.

A recent Wall Street Journal article described the impact of personal connections on decision making. Lawn and pool services that send a different crew every week are easy to cut. On the other hand, it's much harder to pull the plug on someone that has cut your grass or cleaned your house for years, who has brought vegetables from their garden and shown you pictures of their kids.

Some owners of independent restaurants were interviewed for the story. "One of the few advantages I have over the chains" one restaurant owner said "are the personal connections I make with my customers. I make it a priority to recognize my regulars and know where they like to sit and how they like their coffee. I ask about their kids and show them pictures of mine. I try to find out their birthdays and give them a piece of cake with a candle in it if they come in the week before. It's the connections that I create as a result that lead to real loyalty."

There are some important lessons here for financial advisors.

Some advisors take the stance that they're in the business to provide a professional service - and have little interest in exchanging the personal details of their lives. And if that's your style and where you're comfortable, that's fine.

But understand that if you just focus on the business part of the relationship you are missing the opportunity to develop the deeper connections that lead to loyalty in tough times and referrals in good ones.

A couple of recent conversations with successful advisors drove this point home.

One was with a U.S. advisor who sends clients a short weekly email. Part of it talks to what's happened in markets - but in the other part she talks in her own voice. Her personality and humanity really comes through in this second portion - whether it be inviting clients to come in to figure out if they need to cut back on spending, talking about driving to visit family and being hit by how much gas prices are down or describing how her bbq team did in a local competition.

The second conversation was with a Canadian advisor who has over the years let clients know about some of the charities he has supported, among them a fundraising climb up Mount Kilimanjaro for the Canadian Cancer Society and a children's home in Africa. He commented that he's struck by how often long-standing clients ask about how the charities he supports are doing when they come in to meet.

Years ago, I talked to a veteran advisor who set aside the first fifteen minutes of each day to call clients celebrating their birthdays, saying simply "I just wanted to be among the first to wish you happy birthday." Based on the feedback he received, this was the most productive fifteen minutes of his day.

Our first and paramount priority is to ensure clients are well-served in the financial advice they receive. Just remember though that in many cases the personal connections are as important as the advice we give clients - if we want to maximize relationships, these need attention as well.