There are many qualities that are essential for advisors to succeed - focus, self discipline, a strong work ethic and good listening and communication skills to name just a few.

But there's one other essential quality to success, especially during tough markets such as we've seen of late - that quality is resiliency, the ability to bounce back from disappointment and frustration.

While closely related, resiliency and self discipline aren't quite the same thing. Self-discipline is getting out of your comfort zone and beginning to do what you need to do, not just what you feel comfortable and like doing. Resiliency is the ability to continue engaging in that "need to do" activity, even in the face of failure and discouragement; sometimes, it's the ability to do anything at all when feeling beaten down by events.

Resiliency is especially important in times when you tough conversations and rejection are the norm. Research at an outbound call center for a telecom measured the natural level of resiliency among employees - those scoring in the top half of a resiliency measure had more than twice the sales of those in the bottom half.

When starting out in the business and in the early stages of building a client base, most advisors needed a certain level of resiliency. The challenge for many veteran advisors is that success has reduced the need for the "bounce back" ability they had when they started - and many have lost the aptitude to deal with a steady stream of tough conversations such as we're experiencing today.

This can be especially problematic after conversations with long time clients with whom we've built close relationships and who now feel let down and discouraged. It's one thing being rejected by someone we hardly know, it's quite another having a discussion with a long standing client about the potential need to scale back their retirement plans.

And the challenge of resiliency is even more pronounced for advisors who feel discouraged by the financial reversals in their business and their own portfolios.

Like all traits, people start with natural levels of resiliency that vary widely - but like most qualities, resiliency can be learned and developed as well. Just to be clear, being resilient doesn't mean we ignore tough conversations (that would mean we had no conscience, the mark of a sociopathic personality).

Rather, being resilient means we put in place coping skills to enable us to operate at a reasonable level of effectiveness even after disappointment, so we can help our clients through the current period.

Some of the ways to build your resiliency:

1. Start by recognizing how critically important a quality resiliency is - whenever you're tempted to throw in the towel, remember that the measure of your success is not whether you fail, but how you respond to failure. Bouncing back from reversal is the real test of your commitment; there's an apt six word Japanese proverb that speaks to this point - "Fall seven times, get up eight."

2. You need to fundamentally believe that we're going to work through the current tough times - that we'll navigate through the current economic and market challenges and come out of the other end. Seek out positive messages in the media to reinforce this conviction.

3. Understand that disappointment comes with the territory. Just as investors need to expect that we'll run through rough patches in markets, advisors need to anticipate that we're all going to have bad days, weeks, months, even occasionally bad years.

4. Develop the habit of positive self talk ("I'm going to tough this out", "I did everything right on that call - I was just talking to the wrong person") rather than negative self talk ("I knew that would never work", "Why does this always happen to me?).

5. Don't beat yourself up. Rather than focusing on what you did wrong on a call or in a meeting, focus on what you did right. Rather than fixating on the calls you didn't make, focus on the ones you did.

6. Don't let one tough conversation throw you off course. We're all going to have tough conversations - the key is to refuse to allow one difficult conversation to affect our mood and throw us off course for the balance of the day.

7. Focus on framing events so that you see yourself as being in control - not "That client drives me crazy" but "I allow that client to drive me crazy." And avoid "poor me", victim-like thinking at all costs - and stay away from anyone who engages in this. "I'm a victim" thinking sucks our energy and resilience and is poison.

8. Hard as it can be, focus on maintaining a positive outlook - and seek out others who maintain a positive outlook as well.

9. When going through a tough stretch, attempt to compartmentalize the natural discouragement you feel. Work on separating your work and personal life and hard as it can be, try to avoid allowing it to cast a shadow over your mood when not at work.

10. Put strategies in place to increase your energy level - exercise, sunshine and fresh air can all be great short-term tonics when you're feeling down.

Make building your resiliency a priority. Not only will it help you emerge from the current period stronger, but boosting resiliency will help you rebuild your business when markets turn.