Recently, I conducted a morning workshop on referrals for the top advisors of a national firm. We focused on ways to initiate referral conversations which are professional and comfortable for both advisors and their clients.

At the conclusion of the morning, one participant still had one hurdle to overcome: "This all sounds great ... but how do I talk to clients about referrals without seeming needy".

This is a common concern for advisors. We all want to appear successful - after all, no one wants to work with an advisor who is struggling in their business. For some advisors, raising the issue of referrals with existing clients risks jeopardizing the image of success we strive for.

The key is to put our objectives for acquiring new clients in perspective - letting the people we work with know that while we want to bring new clients on board, we aren't prepared to do this at any cost and at the risk of undermining the experience which current clients receive.

Here's one tack to take in talking to clients about growth:

"Recently, I took a look at my ability to serve additional clients. Based on some changes in staffing, I have the capacity to take on fifteen new clients in the next twelve months.

I wonder if I could take three minutes to walk you through the characteristics of the clients who I have found I can help the most and work with the best - in fact, in many regards they look much like you - just in case you're talking to someone who might be a candidate to fill one of the available slots in my practice."

Every advisor is different, with different growth objectives and their own style - to use this approach you have to adapt the words to your own approach. However, by communicating that your first priority is serving existing clients well and that you are selective in the new clients you take on, you'll be able to have conversations about referrals with clients without fear of appearing needy.